Who's Being Punished?

Lucas has a cousin whom he adores. Luckily this cousin feels the same way about Lucas. Not only do these two adore each other but they get along miraculously well! No fights, no screaming, they share...for 4 and 3 year-old boys this is truly a feat!

Lucas and his cousin friend

This cousin was coming to play today and about a hour before their arrival Lucas began asking when they were going to get here. At one point he even lay on the floor and said, "Where is he, I need my friend!" His impatience started leading towards trouble, picking on his sister, taking toys from her, etc. "If you don't leave your sister alone I will call R. and tell him he can't come!" I threatened. This got the behavior I wanted immediately but then I thought, what if it hadn't worked? What if I had to follow through? Would I really do it or would this be punishing me??

I needed this play date just as much as Lucas. First so he would have something to do other than play with mom, secondly I needed some nice adult conversation with R.'s mom.

Creating and following through with appropriate punishments is probably one of the most difficult things as a parent. Be too lenient and they will never learn... too harsh they will resent you... find something they really like and take it away and well you might just end up suffering all day because of it!

I have a friend who's son was having a hard time getting ready on time and with out a fuss. So she decided to lay down the law. If he caused trouble then they would not go out, no second chances. Now I was proud of her for being firm and following through, but two weeks later and they were still stuck in the house! Who was she punishing?

All I know is being a mom is tough enough so next time I am going to be a little more careful and think who is this really punishing!