I really should be going to bed.. but instead I am here in the late hours of the night blogging... I just have to get it out or I won't sleep, at least not peacefully.
Ryder continues to do so well, yet we had our first setback. I knew one of these times when we showed up at the NICU there would be some bad news. He had been having some pretty bad reflux. When I heard this I thought, well of all the set backs things could be a lot worse. They bumped his feeding times up to a hour and took out some supplements they were adding to see if that helped; and it already seems to have helped and he didn't spit up at all this afternoon or evening. So I was so happy that this set back seems to already be doing better.
When we went to the NICU tonight we saw that he is just in a regular bed! I was so happy to see that. So in one day we had a set back and great progress.
Eric, his mom, and I returned from the NICU tonight feeling good. We arrived home to a quiet home... then I heard my father-in-law's voice over the baby monitor. "It sounds like daddy is home, I will go get him and be right back" It turns out while we were gone Alex woke up just absolutely screaming and calling out for me. He said she looked terrified. He just stayed down by her for 45 minutes in which time she never went back to sleep.
Someone clone me please. I need to be in two places at once. I am so torn... I have a baby that is receiving wonderful care but I need to be with at times to help and bond with and help learn how to eat... but I have two wonderful children that are now two weeks into what was supposed to be a one week vacation.... I have two children who are greatly loved and being taken care of so well by family, but we aren't home and I cannot always be with them.
I am beginning to get just a glimpse of what my mom went through the first five years of my life. Before my heart surgery I was in and out of the hospital practically every holiday; I have 4 older brothers and sisters, plus one younger sister that was born during all of this. How did she do it?
Someone clone me. And while you are at it clone my husband. Tomorrow night he heads back to California for work. He will return on Friday..but it might be five long days.
Today Lucas said to Eric: "Too bad I am not a real inventor. Then I could invent a robot that could do your job for you so you didn't have to go back to work."
So cloning and robots requested here. It's not too much to ask is it?
Somebody clone me.. or at least put me to bed. Maybe things will feel better in the morning.
For me, the hardest part of mothering is being needed by multiple children at once. As hard as it is to watch your children struggle from needing you and not having you, life trials start young. And your kids will surprise you by rising to the challenge. Whatever you do, don't let guilt set in. It's like a cancer that will eat you up inside. Just remember, there's no way to balance everything perfectly. It's an impossible task. You do the best you can and let God make up the difference. That's all he asks of you ♥♥
ReplyDeleteI'm going to copy the above comment on a card and post it above my work area.
ReplyDeleteEmmy, we are still praying for you and your beautiful family.
You are doing great hang in there. I had a hard time the three months Colby was at the hospital too. You are torn, but I can tell you from experience that your kids understand. Maybe not on the surface but they do in their hearts and it will get easier. Ask your siblings if you need their perspective. You are doing great.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet and thoughtful son you have. I wish I could help, but since your kids don't know me, they probably would be a little freaked out by me trying to help. However, since I can't physically help you, I will continue to pray for you and your whole family, as well as put your names in the temple. Good luck with all of your little ones.
ReplyDeleteAwww...I'm sure this is so hard for all of you. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteIf I could, I would. But I can't. I also can not imagine your position. Breathe. Remember to breathe. I wish I was there, if nothing else to give you a great big hug. I think you need one. We are still praying for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteAwwww. Poor Alex! I can just imagine. That is SO nice you are surrounded by family.
ReplyDeletewhat are they saying the time line is for Ryder to go home? Don't they usually wait for what the actual due date was supposed to be? Or is it milestones?
GOOD LUCK!!!
Things always look better in the morning Emmy :) Hope it is that way for you today!
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime I'll see what I can do about that cloning request!
Sending you lots of prayers, TJ
YOu are super Mom, you won't needs a clone. Everything will settle in before you know it. You are going to manage everything perfectly!
ReplyDeleteI hope things felt better in the morning! Just keep praying, and know that there are lots of people praying for you and your family too.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to hear he's making such great strides! I can't wait to see pictures of him at home! It'll happen in no time, I just know it!
ReplyDeletethings always feel better in the morning. after a good breakfast. and a shower. but the best blog posts are always written afte 11pm;-) i've been trying to decide where i would grow my third arm. coming out through the center of my body, or just sprouting from one of my others...maybe your idea of the clone is really what i need...
ReplyDeleteTotally unrelated-I left you a little somethin' somethin' on my blog :)
ReplyDeleteOh, Sweetie, I so wish I could come be your extra set of hands! I am so sorry that you have to deal with all of this!
ReplyDeleteIt's so wonderful that he is doing so well and is such a strong little boy! I bet he gets that from his Mama. . .
If I knew the secret to cloning and robots I would surely share it with you.
ReplyDelete