"Are you trying to drive me crazy?" I muttered a little too loudly.
"Oh yes, he is plotting to annoy you." my husband replied.
But at that moment in my half-delusional-completely-exhausted-state in the middle of the night, I might have somewhat believed that of my 1 month old son.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep... maybe it's the hormones.. maybe it's the fact that I am suddenly feeling very alone; but I am breaking down a bit.
My parents left yesterday... and I am suddenly feeling very overwhelmed and wondering how I am going to do it. Never mind the fact that we survived for a week back here before my parents arrived. Several weeks of only getting no more than two, at good times three, hours of consecutive sleep has added up. Did I tell you one time there even a four hour stretch, did I tell you how glorious that felt? I was even dreaming! Too bad that stretch led to horrible reflux and pain on my little guys tiny tummy.
Alex wants me to play with her doll house, Lucas wants me to build Legos, Ryder is grunting and spitting up again. My lunch is cold. At least I made myself lunch today.
But then we all stop and watch a movie together. All snuggled up on the couch. I fall asleep for a bit and wake up to find us all still there together and realize everything is going to be okay.
Deliriously tired but okay.
And to prove it, I will even have a list of Ten Things to Smile About tomorrow. Don't forget to write your lists and come and link up!
I do not miss those days! I'm so glad I had my kids young. I can't even imagine trying to deal with the sleep deprivation when I'm older!
ReplyDeleteHang in there! Nap whenever you can!!! Don't be afraid to ask for help from those around you.
ReplyDeleteBeing overtired is sooooooo hard. And premies tend to act like newborns for soooooo long. I'll pray for you guys. I hope everything is good. You CAN do it. You're a wonderful mom!
ReplyDeleteit's the sleep!!! remember, that's what you told me 3 weeks after i had max and had my melting point;-) i just re-read your old comment to me last night. the point of exhaustion is just part of the process. cry, cry, and cry some more. then have a friend take your two older kids for a few hours in the morning tomorrow. take a hot shower while the baby sleeps, get dressed, do your hair, and then do something you've been dying to do. you'll feel like a new woman.
ReplyDeleteI remember those moments and I only have 2. Keep Smiling!! You are a great mom--I can tell :) Nap when you can.
ReplyDeleteIt will get better...I promise! Just hang in there, this is just temporary. He'll start sleeping a little longer before you know it!
ReplyDeleteFeel free to vent anytime...we have been there too!
You know that a person can actually go crazy from lack of sleep-- I think I mentioned that every day for the first few months of our last two babies. This is SUCH an insane time and I completely understand. Do more snuggling, more resting. That housework will still be there tomorrow (or in three weeks when you're getting more four-hour stretches in a row). You are not only going to be able to handle this, you're going to be fantastic at it!
ReplyDeleteThis is most definitely a flashback for me. I remember that time. I know it passes, but while you're in it, it's just incredibly tough!
ReplyDeleteAwww I am so sorry. If you want me to come over sometime or bring the kids here so you can get some shuteye let me know.
ReplyDeleteEmmy, you make me really excited for the upcoming arrival of little babe ;)
ReplyDeleteI tease, we both know it will pass - they will sleep and someday, we will too. Good luck!
Dont forget we are sitting when you go see...ECLIPSE!...(whimpering) Can I come??? lolz
ReplyDeleteThe lack of sleep is really hard! I would always wish for more sleep! But now that I'm getting it, I miss waking up 2 or 3 times a night and nursing and rocking my babies!
ReplyDeleteTiredness does have a way of making things seems very skewed and out of control. Hang in there ... you'll make it. It can only get better, right?
ReplyDeleteOh my sweet friend, I distinctly remember the pain of sleep deprivation and it's very real and scary. I said to my very tiny princess one night "I feel like I should love you more than this, but you keep screaming at me." I don't miss having a newborn at all, but I do love all your precious pics. I'm off to do my ten things (just a little late).
ReplyDeleteHappy July!!! xoxo, K
The delirious stage of a newborn. You are so strong. Good luck with it all. He will be sleeping through the night before you know it, and then you will miss the middle of the night cuddling.
ReplyDelete