Status Quote: The funny Edition

It's that time again! Time for the Status Quote. What is the Status Quote- is a monthly- the second Tuesday of every month- meme that CA Girl and I host. It is a chance for an easy quick post where you can share those funny/weird/bizarre FB or Twitter status updates that you find. You don't even have to tell who said them!

So grab the button, copy those status and link up- it always makes for a great laugh.

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As always-my commentary is in blue.

Some simply for laughs:
"I finished a really big book the other day, 421 pages. But man did I whip through a ton of crayons doing it."-- I like coloring

"It's odd how they name storms, but they don't name calms. There's a gentle breeze this morning. I think I'll call him Doug."

"A police officer came up to me last night and said, "Where were you between four and six?" I said, "Kindergarten."-- how quickly did the police officer arrest you?


Observations on Life:
"I can't believe people actually eat in that McDonald's Playland area. It's like, "Here's your crappy food, now go eat in that stinky room. Just ignore all the screaming."

"The Reebok “Pump” is further proof that I was a gullible idiot in the 90’s"-- I wanted one so bad, my mom never would spend the money

"Chasing a tornado is about as smart as a dog chasing a car. Once you catch it, what are you gonna do with it?"-- I have never thought of that

"As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists."--AMEN!

"To ensure you never cut yourself while chopping vegetables, get a friend to hold the vegetables."

"When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they're being annoying little brats." --yes we all know this is true

"Why didn't anyone tell me that you don't have to tip the Walmart greeters?"- lol I dare someone to do this!!

"If I ever run out of toothpaste, I'll just lick my bathroom mirror." -EWWWWW!!!!

Status updates thanks to Alex:
"If your face is covered with frosting and you are claiming you didn't sneak any- I am going to call your bluff."

"My 4-year-old in the middle of a fit "I wish I was all grown up and living by myself!""

"A 2nd "gem" from my 4-yr-old. "I like playing with M- she almost always gets MY way. Sometimes I get her way."

See how fun and easy! So copy those status into a post and play along.