I was shocked. I was horrified. I was in tears- sobbing for the rest of the morning as I watched the live coverage. I couldn't turn it off and I couldn't stop crying. Alex-my kindergartner was on her way home so I shut everything down, managed to compose myself and hugged her extra tight; grateful for the reason to shut it all off.
Before I turned it off I saw something disturbing starting to begin. Before the names of the victims were even known, heck before the media was even broadcasting the correct name of the killer- there were cries for more gun control/less gun control, for better mental health services, fingers being pointed at who to blame.
All I could think it's too soon. Let these people grieve-give us a chance to begin to figure out what actually happened before you begin spouting your political beliefs whatever they may be.
Now as we begin to step back and try and find reason in the unreasonable, try and find light in the darkness what can we do? Could we discuss gun control? Could we discuss mental health care? Could we discuss video game violence and violence on TV? Could we discuss how the media makes the perpetrator an instant celebrity as their name will forever be known.
Yes- but these are all just bandaids for a broken bone.
If we really want to find change, and peace and goodness; if we really want to fix societies problems, we need to look much deeper. When is the last time you prayed? I guarantee that many more prayed on Friday- many prayed who probably haven't prayed in a long time.
Why is that? Why is it that so many turn to prayer in moments like this? Is it because when we are our most vulnerable, our times of greatest despair, the most humble, that we begin to remember that truth and that rock that is at the foundation of it all? We remember that there is so much more.
Are tougher gun control laws going to make this day go away? Are more mental health services going to catch and help every sick person out there? Or is it something so much more.
That light shines in each of us; for some it radiates so strongly and for some it is nearly black. But there is that light, that truth that good. We need to search for it, to expand it and most importantly to share it by serving and loving those around us.
But that is not enough. In a world of moral relativism where everyone is a winner and things are okay as long as people are happy; it isn't enough.
If you just believe in trying to be a nice person for the sake of being nice-- than how do you stand up and teach right and wrong and take a stand when things are starting to slip into gray areas? How do you overcome that inherently selfish human persona when just being nice isn't enough?
You have faith. You have morals. You have truth and principles that have been around since before the earth was created to build yourself and who you truly are.
That is the only way not to crumble.
That is the only way not to give in to the despair and hopelessness. If you can't see the light it would be easy to give in, to just role with whatever tides society is choosing to ride at that time-- only to find you are so far from shore you have no way to make it back.
I choose faith. I choose love and goodness. I choose hope with the knowledge of the greater plan that there is for all of us- even if you may not believe as I do. I vow to pray even more earnestly, to smile even more, to find those around me that need help and then not just walk away but help!
I vow to share the knowledge of my Father in Heaven's existence and know that without the sacrifice of His Son that none of us could make it back. And most importantly that there is something to get back to; something worth fighting for.
I am going to let my light shine- for light can always overcome darkness.
And that my friends, is the hope for Newtown and for all of us.
Here is an link to an inspiring video of an interview with one of the victim's father's which echo's my words.
And tomorrow with Shell's Pour Your Heart Out
Knowing Emily for many years, I can say she does live this way. Thanks for talking about it, Emily--I have cried and cried too. This whole thing hurt so much. Thanks for the reminder of our true source for happiness and peace.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written!
ReplyDeleteI feel so much the same way you do, Emmy. I was shocked when, so soon after the news broke, how my Twitter feed exploded into arguments between people on gun control. I was saddened when I saw a debate in the comments section of a news article online about God, and how can anyone believe in Him when he makes things like this happen?
ReplyDeleteI don't believe this was God's will - I believe He is crying along with us. I don't know why things like this happen, but I must have faith. I must believe. It's the only thing that carries us on. And I have to hope that our prayers will provide just a little comfort and healing to those that need them most right now.
I couldn't agree more with your post. I couldn't believe how quickly people were pointing fingers at gun control and religion. The biggest question I had for people was: Are criminals really going to start following the laws after all this time? No.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to the friends and families of those who lost their lives too soon.
Yes, after thinking and crying and praying for a few days I know that there is nothing we can do on the surface, it all needs to be work on the heart.
ReplyDeleteLuke 6:45
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.
Very nice. I wrote about this too...I so want people to know that God did not "allow" this. He is love, and PEOPLE are the factor that introduce suffering into the equation. Only God can heal the human heat.
ReplyDeletehttp://adventuresintheballpark.blogspot.com
"heart" :-)
DeleteThank you for this beautiful post Emmy.
ReplyDeleteI'm still struggling with this and terrified that kids at school will say too much. My friend that I was so worried about, was interviewed by CNN on Saturday and I couldn't help seeing the dispair in her eyes. How do the families in this beautiful town ever get over this?
ReplyDeleteNow is not the time for gun control talk. It is the time for mourning and praying.
Yes, light will always conquer darkness. We can use that thinking in all aspects of our life, but especially with this. I wish the media would stop interviewing everyone and give them the privacy and respect they deserve.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful Em.
ReplyDeleteThis has been one of the most heart breaking times of my life. For days I couldn't sleep and I hurt as a mom for these families. When it first happened my first thought was how can the talk about guns or mental health so soon. However, when tragedy like this strike wanting answers and solutions are normal. The sad thing is after it's all over and it isn't in the media, things that should be done are never done. Here in Chicago, this is a normal weekend. Loosing 20-30 kids dug to gun violence. Faith without works is dead and hopefully out of this tragedy things will change. :(
ReplyDeletePerfectly said. I totally agree.
ReplyDeleteThis is so well said! It is so important to let your light shine into the darkness!
ReplyDeleteAmen,
ReplyDeleteI feel the same as you, it's the same feelings I felt when I saw 9/11 on television. I wish things would just get better but I fear things will only get worse and all we can do is have faith and just try and teach our children. I shudder to think what things will be like when my kids are teaching their kids.
Bandaid for a broken bone- so perfectly put!
ReplyDeleteI've never been blessed with words...perhaps that's why my blog is still only interesting to few, but you said so much that I have been feeling lately that I could never have said. I have been in utter despair and confusion since Friday...I still can't accept nor do I want to--that something that horrific could happen--anywhere. But thanks for your sweet, true reminder. :-)
ReplyDeleteNicely said. I've been feeling the same way. This tragic event was the result of a person who chose evil. Our world suffers when people turn away from religion.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe as you do, but I still pray. I still believe in good. I still believe in right and wrong. I found it upsetting that right away it became political and it's not like anyone's mind on either side was changed because of the tragedy, it was just people pushing what they believed before the horrible event in Newtown.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very heavy subject and I appreciate your take on it even if I don't agree with all of it. I think it is so important for us to be able to discuss this without anger and to be able to listen to those whose opinions and beliefs are different than our own. In the end, we are all in this together...that is all I know for sure.
Totally off topic but I enjoy that you follow someone from Y&R on twitter, it's nice to meet another soap fan. But I think you are right all of this is a bandaid, so well put. Stopping by from PYHO
ReplyDeleteSo true. It saddens me that the Gift of the light is free, but so many would rather sit in darkness.
ReplyDelete