Wednesday, October 2, 2013

I Might Just Cry When I'm Alone

When the school year began, Ryder would often say to me "it's just me and you now".  It felt fun, like our own little secret pact.   We would have great days like yesterday, a day filled with trips to the library, running errands, and a lunch date with my little guy.
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Days like that seem perfect.

Then there are days filled with driving cars or building Geo Trax for one to many hours for my sanity.  I found myself mentally checking out, wishing for the day when I could just have some time to myself!

A good friend of mine watches Ryder for me when I volunteer in my kids' classrooms but this isn't really me time.

Last Friday Ryder was invited to a friend's house for a little boy playdate.  A little over two hours all to myself!   How I was going to love this time!

I dropped him off, got back home..... and it was quiet... too quiet.

I suddenly noticed how quiet my house could be, how big and empty it suddenly seemed.

I looked around wondering what I should do.   I sat down and started working on my novel.  Luckily the ideas started flowing and I was soon lost in writing and the two hours went very quickly, but when it was time to go pick him up I was so excited to see him.

So now those days where I feel like I can't take driving cars and trains any longer; I think back to that last Friday and how alone I felt and realize it is going so fast and soon I will have a lot more alone time.

You know, I am not sure how much I am going to like it.

28 comments:

  1. A quiet house is hard to handle when you're normally surrounded by chaos. But I love a little break here and there. I'm thinking as time goes on you will still miss your little man but enjoy your "ME" time.

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    1. Yes, I have no doubt you are right. It will be weird at first but I am sure I will adjust and even start to enjoy it. I know most of the time, when I am not having any me time I just wish for it :)

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  2. Isn't it surprising how much we miss them during our "me" time? I am sure you will grow to depend on that once you get it, though.

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    1. Yes and on a different day I have a feeling I might not have felt that way at all, just sentimental that day :)

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  3. I've been going through the same thing this year. First time in nearly 13 years I have 6 hours to myself every day. And, people think I'm nuts because I'm a little sad about it.

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    1. Yes, I think i will be hit and miss somedays totally miss them and then the next day love it :) It is okay to miss them though, that is a good thing too

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  4. I know what you mean about it being too quiet. I know I will be a little sad when I have that too quiet house, but part of me is looking forward to it too. I think it's good they just go off to school for a couple of hours at first. It's like weaning ourselves from our children!

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    1. Yes! Plus I have heard that the teenage years are actually a really good thing for weaning as they start to drive us crazy so we are more ready to let them go ;)

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  5. It really is weird when no one is home with you. Those moments definitely make me appreciate the truck racing and book reading...all the good stuff!

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    1. Yep, I think alone time is good as like you said it makes you enjoy the rest of it more.

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  6. Honestly, I LOVE the quiet. But I'm an only child so I grew up with a lot of quiet.

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  7. I do enjoy my quiet time. But after awhile I can't stand the quiet.

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  8. It is weird at first. But it seems like there is always something to do though!! It feels like those few hours while they are in school are never enough for all I need to get done!

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  9. Craziness, isn't it? The silence is wonderful, but it makes you realize how quickly time is flying and how quickly they grow!

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  10. Aww! I'm really looking forward to mommy/son dates. :-) We go now, but he just has no idea. ;-) I kind of feel that way when Wyatt goes down for the night and Match is at work. I love the quiet, but then I find myself missing him and wishing I could go sneak into his room for a cuddle.

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  11. I can't relate since I'm not a mother ... and my home is extremely quiet all of the time, but your little peanut is adorable in the photo above! Enjoy each and every moment :)

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  12. I think you're going to LOVE it. Sure, it'll be hard at first, maybe even for months, but you'll adjust. And knowing you, you'll find plenty of things to fill the time. I really enjoy my time alone while Lexie is at school. When it's taken from me - I get grouchy! ;o) I still miss her during the day, but that time apart prepares me better for spending the late afternoon hours dedicated just to HER. It's not as bad as it seems!

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  13. I love my "alone" time on weekday mornings when both of my kids are at school. I get so much done and am much better able to focus on them when they get home because of that. I'm naturally an introvert so I really like being alone and it doesn't bother me. If my husband (the extrovert people person) were the stay-at-home parent I think he'd miss the kids more than I do during the day!

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  14. It is amazing how quiet the how is without them, I am with you and will miss the noise as much as I complain about it lol!

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  15. There are lots of transitions once you are a mother...things keep changing

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  16. I dread going to work everyday and yet I feel like its my ME time.. just nice to get a break from your kiddos every now and then.. I try to suck up as much time as I can when we are home in the evenings and on weekends, but I LOVE ME TIME!! hah
    Such a sweet picture of you two!

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  17. It's so weird having a quiet house after you've had kids, it's.. unsettling. Even when I know my son isn't home I will still go to ask him something or check on him - I have to remind myself that it's just me at home. Makes me sort of sad that they have to grow up ha ha.

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  18. Sadly, it'll eventually become the norm and life will go on just like it does now. That or you could have another baby :)

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    1. You are right it will be the norm someday.. no more babies for me, too many medical complications

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  19. I love days like that. It happens so very rarely here since I work outside the home but when I get a "free" day I cherish it like no other.

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    1. Yes, I could see why they would definitely be a great day for you and I think in the end I will adjust and like them too, for now just weird for me. :)

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  20. I've been pushing hard for one more baby....because I miss the kids when they are gone. I can't quite get used to the quiet. Thank goodness I'm the PTA President so I can hang out at school and not one thinks it's weird!

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    1. That would be nice to have an excuse to be there so much, plus then you totally find out the ins and outs of the school more!

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