Kids Do What You Expect

Recently a friend of mine told how she was going to start giving her teenage son a monthly budget.  He would be given a certain amount of money at the beginning of the month and that money would be all he would get for extra things.  If he blew all his money in the first week, then that would mean he might miss out on something later that month.  She was still going to be providing clothes and other basic necessities for him, it was the extra things his money would be used for.

Some of the people that commented on her post were critical of her plan, saying that is too much for a teenager.

It is too much for a teenager to learn how to budget?  It is too much for a teenager to learn some responsibility in life and the fact that actions do have consequences?

Too many people feel entitled to things in this country, a nice car, a nice home, a phone.... they go through life expecting to be able to get these things whenever they want.

Growing up my parents saved for everything.  They would save until they could buy a car with cash, then they would fix and repair that car over and over again until they finally had to buy another.  I remember when we needed to get a new refrigerator; I went along thinking it would be fun to pick out a new fridge.  Six stores later, as my dad had to check out all the stores to make sure he was getting the best price and I regretted my decision.

When my father was unemployed for several months, my family was still okay.  They had saved for a rainy day, not only monetarily but with a food storage.  My dad was doing everything he could to find another job, even taking the training to become a school bus driver just so that he could provide for our family.   He was a college graduate with a degree in Mechanical Engineering; a profession he had worked in for over 25 years, when he was forced to take early retirement due to the company having to downsize after a lot of illegal activity from the higher-ups, sort of Enron experience.  But he was going to do whatever it took.

Thankfully he got an engineering job right before it was time to start as a bus driver, as with his temperament that would have been the absolute worst job for him, but he was willing to do whatever it took to provide for our family.

He taught us to be responsible, to help and to give, but most importantly to always work hard.

To my friend who is trying to help her son learn lessons about real life, who is willing to stand by and watch her son maybe miss out on a few things so that he can learn, I applaud you.  Kids are capable of what we expect of them.  If we protect them, hand them all a trophy and say everyone is a winner then they will expect to always win, to always finish first, and when real life catches up with them it is going to be a huge slap in the face.

Kids can do hard things and so can parents.  Parents can do hard things by stepping back and letting them learn, letting them stumble but always with open arms knowing that we will love them no matter what.



Let's stop the coddling, stop the entitlement, stop their beliefs that everything will be handed to them, before it is too late.

Expect your kids to be great because they can do hard things.