Marriage and God

This weekend I was in time-out and I loved it.  So it isn't the traditional time-out every parent thinks of, but I attended a 'Time-Out for Women', sponsored by Deseret Books.  It was a weekend of music, inspirational talks and shopping.  I stayed over night with my friend Julie to complete the whole experience.  It was wonderful and Eric was a superstar managing two soccer games and everything else that comes with being a parent on his own.

We ate good (thanks to my husband who told us about some of the best places in Pasadena to eat),

Supper yummy pizza (and deviled eggs for an appetizer) from the Luggage Room Pizzeria

Me and two of my friends outside of the Dog Haus

Heaven in a bun right there! My hotdog from the Dog Haus

we laughed, shed a few tears, and just enjoyed the sisterhood all 1,600 of us shared.


There was one talk that particularly stuck out to me.  A psychologist Wendy Ulrich began speaking about the four stages of marriage, they are:

  4 Stages of Marriage:
   1. Honeymoon stage: bliss, rose colored glasses, alive and loving stage
   2. Power Struggle Stage: trying to figure out our roles/balance, establishing who what we are
   3. Withdrawal stage: doing your own things, still married but not truly connected
   4. Acceptance and Renewal- learn that you can't change the other but only yourself, learn to love and understand

There stages are not all equal in length and duration and there isn't really a check list that says you have made it through a stage.  There might be areas that we have come to accept, but other areas where we still have that power-struggle for parts of our relationship.

As I sat and contemplated my relationship with my husband; she turned the tables on us and asked where are we in these stages with God.

I will admit, it caused me to pause, caused my heart to skip a beat and my eyes open to a whole other level of truth.  I feel like I have faith, feel like I will do whatever it takes, but do I always turn my will over to Him?   Or do I struggle with what I want, and what I think is right?  Do I take the time to read my scriptures and truly pray or do I withdraw getting caught up in everything but my relationship with Him?  Have I come to the point in our relationship that I can truly say, thy will be done?

She then went on to say that we shouldn't feel discouraged but need to realize that just like a marriage takes works, so does our relationship with God.  He is our advocate and on our side, He wants to help us and be there for us.  We should tell Him what we are afraid of, what we doubt, what we fear, we need to turn it over to Him so He can help and heal us.

We need to learn to sit still with God and practice trust.
I have a long way to go and am so far from who I could and should be, but I try.  Everyday I get up and try and try again.  And as with a good marriage, it takes time, it takes work, it takes faith; but it is worth it.

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Linking with Shell's PYHO