Actually you will probably learn pretty early on, even when your baby is learning to walk. Want to stop them from ever falling, ever getting hurt.. then they will never learn to walk.
You do your best to protect them from the unnecessary pain by telling them things, 'don't ever touch the stove' and 'never cross the street alone'.
But you know, some day even those things will be allowed, only when they are old enough to do it wisely and correctly (at least you hope).
Some things you can never fix; the kids that tease, the times they fail or just can't get something right.
That is when parenting is really hard. Your heart breaks and bleeds and cries for them, but sometimes all you can do is let them know you are there for them, love them, and try to give them guidance which you hope doesn't go in one ear and out the other.
The other day we went swimming with a big group of friends. The kids were having a great time, going down the slide, jumping from the waterfall.... but soon Lucas began bugging his siblings. I saw the look on his face, I could see it in his eyes...I knew there was more to it than just being a pesty older brother. Of course, I talked with him and told him to stop, but deep down I knew it was something more.
The group of boys his age all swimming together, they are all nice to him he just isn't quite part of their group. They all grew up together, they play sports together, their families go camping together; so even fours years later he is still a bit of 'the new kid'.
I asked him about it after, he said no it didn't matter he just likes swimming alone. But I knew that was a partial lie, his actions had shown it earlier.
And my heart broke a little.
I can't force him to be friends with those boys and I certainly can't make them be friends with him. They truly are good kids and I don't think they even realize they are leaving him out.
But I just have to sit back, let him know I am there for him, love him and try and give him guidance and hope it doesn't go in one ear and out the other.
Parenting is hard.
**************
Linking with Shell's PYHO
Girl I feel your pain 150%! When I dropped Emily off for camp, the first girl to approach us didn't greet Emily or even acknowledge her, but looked at me and asked if Kristin was going this year. I told she had gone ahead. I know this girl didn't mean to hurt Emily's feelings, but I imagine it did.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mom and probably won't have kids of my own, but over the past several months I've gotten more involved with my boyfriend's kids and I see how hard it is to deal with some of the issues they face. Looking out for kids and being the grown up is SO much different than being the kid.
ReplyDeleteThat is so hard. My oldest didn't really have any good friends in his class this year until towards the end. No one was really mean to him (except for one kid), the rest of the kids were nice to him, but he didn't really fit in. It was so hard.
ReplyDeleteAwww...even I feel so bad for him! My daughter is 7 and has experienced feeling left out too. It's so hard but I guess it's just a part of life (unless the other kids are doing it in a mean way). As moms, we wish we could do more but you put it so well when you said that the best we can do is to be there for them.
ReplyDeletexoxo
Lisa @ Fun Money Mom
I've been there with my kids. It really is difficult!
ReplyDeleteI would agree with that... parenting is hard. I mean I don't have much experience but I think I was in the same place where people left me out. You're a great parent though, he knows that and time will get him where he needs to be!!
ReplyDelete